Me and my kids
I went to visit my mom today.
At some point during our um-teenth time of playing crazy 8’s, she asked me…
“So how’s that Clown Guy doing?”
I’m thinking in my head, what clown guy? So random, what are we talking about now?
“Mom, what Clown Guy?”
“That one, your friend, you showed me something with those old music videos, when you came to see me dressed like the 80′s and then we listened to Rick James.”
She remembered something from the past.
“Yes, Eric ma, his name is Eric. His blog name is Le Clown. And he’s doing very well thanks.”
“Eric. Right? I’ll have to remember that. Eric right? Eric…Eric….”
Mom repeats to try and remember. Sometimes it works…sometimes….
“Yeah, Eric, or Le Clown. But I like that Clown Guy better…and I bet he does too.”
Mom starts to laugh. She knows, I always cop out, and take the easy way with her these days.
“Me too….that Clown Guy, Clown Guy…okay, Clown Guy…”
I look up at her, into her unsuspecting eyes; she’s looking at her hand of cards, trying hard to see which card she can play next.
Damn vision problems.
“Has he said anything new?”
“Ah…Don’t know, let’s check. I’ve not been around the blogosphere lately.”
As I pulled out my iPhone, mom played down the queen of spades and made me pick up 5.
I then read her, that Clown Guys latest post, They Will Get You In the End.
“Oh, that was nice. He loves his daughter eh? I can see the twinkle in his eye.”
As she looks up from her hand of cards, she has a big smile on her face.
“I bet it’s there every time he talks about her. Do you remember when you were that little and you blamed everything on Emma?”
I let out a big laugh at the name Emma. The kind of laugh that comes from your stomach, unexpectedly.
We’re both smiling and laughing now.
“Yes, he does love her, very much ma. He calls her Tiny Geek. She’s adorable! As for Emma…my imaginary alter ego. Yes, I remember. I blamed all the trouble I caused when I was little on her, and she stood up for me every time!”
Mom laughs louder now. She can’t stop laughing.
This makes me smile…again.
She gets up, puts her hand of cards down, walks over to me and hugs me. The big kind of hug you always love from your mom.
“You know, I know you don’t like that piece of paper called a marriage certificate, you have always been independent, you don’t conform and I love that, but will you at least finally have kids? Make yourself a Tiny Geek?”
I look at her, holding my hand. My eyes begin to fill with emotion.
I sigh. I look deep into her eyes. She’s still holding my hand.
“Yeah…I think…I’ll finally, settle down now ma.”
As my mother’s smile ignites warmth in my heart, she continues to fill me with joy.
“I like that Clown Guy. He’s awesome.”
“I know, me too.”
“Tell him I said what up next time you talk to him.”
I smile again.
“I will ma….Shall I go get us some coffees from that new shop down the road now?”
As I walked down the street, I began to cry. I pulled up on a bench, lit up a smoke and let it out.
Mom had a stoke November 1st, 2012.
Since then, she’s not been able to remember many things.
But today, she did.
She remembered when I was in junior kindergarten; when I didn’t get my way I would send the other kids to the corner. She remembered the cottage and how I ran off the deck and jumped into the lake after my grandpa; my floaties going straight up, me going straight down, her in panic and then me coming back up again…yes, that’s how I learned to swim. She remembered when I broke all of her Barbie dolls into teeny, tiny little pieces; GI Joe ruled! Yes, he still does.
Today, my mom, remembered.
To That Clown Guy and his beautiful, loving family,
I thank you.
Today, my mom,
My favourite picture of mom and me