I sit here on my night stand, staring out of my bedroom window, curled up in my blanket, a cup of hot tea attempting to fill your void.
It’s late and I can’t sleep, again. It’s raining, hard.
My mind begins to wander, with thoughts of you.
I remember how much you love the falling rain. You could walk for hours, endlessly basking yourself in one of Mother Nature’s true beauties.
Fixed on my mind, is how handsome and innocent you always looked when you came in from the liquid sunshine. You always had a big smile on your face everytime I saw you. The way the rain drops glistened on your soft skin, gave me warm, loving chills.
Cold and dripping wet, you would wrap your devoted, tender arms around me, and hug me like we were the only two people in this world. Your lips on my neck made me smile instantly, your arms around my waist, my instant high. You would pull me in closer to you and whisper ‘Hey babe.’ I would immediately melt into your loving embrace.
The rain is coming down in a fury, yet I’m lost in the abyss of your love.
Our first email conversation gave me thrills of excitement. I would smile for hours after each email received, wondering what you were thinking, wondering if you felt the same joy and happiness that I felt. I would re-read them, analyzing every word, hoping they were a way deeper into your heart.
I remember the first time we talked on the phone. I was so nervous and had butterflies in my stomach. It was reminiscent of enjoying the feeling of being 16 all over again, when your teen-age crush said they liked you too. I kept wondering how sweet your voice sounded and if you would like the sound of mine.
I remember how I melted into my sofa with fits of delight the first time I heard you say ‘Hello Amber.’ I had a smile on my face that resonated from ear to ear. Over the wireless air waves, I wondered if you saw it too. The contentment I felt at finally hearing your voice made me feel like I was flying high.
After months of flirtacious communication through blog comments, emails and phone calls, we decided to meet for the first time. I invited you over to my place, my ‘safety zone’.
That day, I took what felt like the longest, hottest shower of my life. I’m positive I washed my hair at least 3 times, just to ensure that every single strand, of my long, thick, curly hair, smelled as good as it could for you. Viva La Pantene Pro V. I’m sure I used up the whole bottle of shampoo but who cares?
I even decided to throw away my daily, simple, hair back in pony tail look. That Halloween Wednesday, I brought out my blow dryer and straight iron and set off on the long haul of straitening my hair for you. An hour later, it was a sweet, perfect combination of soft curls and full body.
I changed my clothes maybe 10 times that evening; everything I put on not being good enough for you. I eventually convinced myself to put on my favourite pair of blue jeans and my favourite purple and black, tie back top. Both pieces ever so sensually, hugging the curves of my body just right.
A re-check of my hair, a few side to side turns, one final layer of lipstick and I was on fire, ready to knock you off your feet.
You were my trick or treat.
When you stepped out of the elevator, I got a pang of ‘Oh my god, there he is’ in my stomach. I wanted to jump up and down like I did when I was a kid and was excited about something. But I didn’t. Instead, I held my ‘womanly’ composure.
I of course, couldn’t hide my huge smile from you this time. You walked over to me, and gave me the biggest, warmest, most loving hug I had ever received in my life. The whole time thinking that pictures don’t do you justice cause you are even sexier in person.
I knew at that moment I was completely sucked into your intoxicating grace. Your hands on my body, your lips on my neck and your loving arms wrapped around me; I was hooked and there was no turning back.
We walked down the hall to my apartment, into fairy-tale bliss.
It was love at first sight, and we both knew it.